WHY ?

My smile no longer will be true & sweet.
It will be fake & bitter.

Today probably will be my worst day of 2009 .
I failed my audit.
Everyone thought that I'm joking or what .
Oh fucck, why should I bluff at you ?

Damn , how come I can't go through my last 3 papers ?
I passed the two papers how come I just can't go through my audit paper ?
I've gone so shit far , but why I still have to go through FAILURE ?
I studied like shit for that paper, yet, I still fail .

To the world : Seriously, I'm not ok .

Why everyone can go through but not me ?
Why everyone can pass but not me ?
Why I'm the only one who chosen to go through all this ?
WHY ?

I aimed to pass at one shot,
But why ?
I won't blame anyone if I didn't study , but I did put effort .
Why everytime I'm serious in something, it will turn out to be so serious shit ?
I'M SERIOUSLY A FAILURE !

I still can't accept the fact that I failed my audit paper.

What shit is this ?
Why ?

One thing is , I HATE MAKING MY DADDY DISSAPOINTED ON ME .
ALthough he didn't say anything , but I know he is seriously sad & dissapointed .
He put hope on me.
Yet, I'm still fail . FAIL !

I want to graduate with my classmates.
But why, you don't let me to go through this ?
Why can't this small wishes is granted ?
WHY ?

I know now it's a fact that I failed my paper.
But I just can't accept it.

I still laugh & smile.
But it will no longer from my heart .

I want this back .